Script

(The CATERPILLAR enters, blowing bubbles, with WONDERLAND CHARACTERS.)

CATERPILLAR

Oh, don't let those babbling blooms get you down, kid.

SMALL ALICE

But if I could look like them, I'd fit in, and life would be so easy!

CATERPILLAR

Don't you know beauty is just a surface thing? Who you really are - what you're worth - resides much, much deeper. Those fleeting flowers are just gonna wind up sitting around in somebody's imitation cut-glass vase for three days 'til they wither and die, then it's "thanks a lot" and out with the garbage! Am I right?

WONDERLAND CHARACTERS

Right!

CATERPILLAR

Thank you! But enough about them. Whooo, pray tell, are youuu?

SMALL ALICE

My name is Alice.

(beat, getting brave)

Whooo, pray tell, are youuu?

CATERPILLAR

I am whoever you want me to be, if I, in fact, am indeed whoever I say I am or someday hope to be. You dig?

SMALL ALICE

Yes. Um. No.

CATERPILLAR

(snaps his fingers)

I'm the Caterpillar, kiddo. Your wonder of wonders. Your miracle of miracles. Your happy, happy day!

SMALL ALICE

Oh!

(beat)

I'm so confused. I wanted adventure, but nothing makes any sense here.

CATERPILLAR

Alice, adventure doesn't always make sense. But it doesn't mean you stop exploring. The Caterpillar's gonna share two magical, hyphenated little words with you, guaranteed to make even your very worst day simply absolutely fabulous! Ready?

SMALL ALICE

(mustering courage)

Sure. Let's do this.

CATERPILLAR

Repeat after me: Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

SMALL ALICE

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah.

CATERPILLAR

Zip-a-dee-ay.

SMALL ALICE

Zip-a-dee-ay.

(putting it together on her own)

Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay!

CATERPILLAR

You've been holding out on me! Hit it!