SIDE 1

Mom! Tell us a story of Pan?

Michael you don t think I m actually your mom?! John?

Moms tell stories. You tell us stories. You must be our mother!

But I ve just been playing! You have a real mom at home. Michael, John, you remember?

Did she have silky ears and wear a fur coat?

That was Nana!

I think I had a mother once.

I once had a white rat.

(sudden realization)
I think it s time we go home.

(as Indian)
No go home! Stay many moons! Have big fun time!

Now, Peter  we ve got to be practical, and Indian braves don t even talk like that!
(to MICHAEL and JOHN)
Do you just want to stay here and grow up like savages?

(a gleeful answer)
Savages!

You need a real mom.

SIDE 2

Peter Pan, you insolent boy, I ll slash you to ribbons!

I ll cut you to pieces!

Scuttle my bones  I ll slit your gizzard!

Peter, fly! Or Captain Hook will catch you!
(MICHAEL turns and runs from JOHN screaming at the top of his lungs. He overshoots and runs straight into MR. DARLING, who enters in an undershirt and lifts MICHAEL.)

He caught you!

Unhand me, you old bilge rat!

Michael, how dare you call your father

Not you, Dad. Michael is Peter Pan, and John s Captain Hook.

Yes fine, now where are my shirt and cufflinks? Nana  do you know?

You ll need to look at the treasure map the boys made to find it.
(NANA sniffs around for cufflinks as MICHAEL takes a cloth map out of his pocket, lays it down, and smoothes it out.)

Let s see if I follow the line here& to the dotted line here& to the  x marks the
(lifts up the map, which turns out to be drawn on his shirt)
Oh no. Oh no, my shirt!

(entering)

George, this is no time to play with the children. We re late!

This was my last clean shirt! You are pirates!

SIDE 3

Oh, would that I could set you free. But, ay, here s the rub: you know where that scurvy brat Pan lives and I do not! Tell me  or die!

(behind the rock)
You dog!

Shhh!

Am I not a man of me word, Smee?

Yes. A
(crosses his fingers behind his back)
Always, Captain. Come on, Tiger Lily. Or soon it ll be Davy Jones s Locker for you!

And remember your sacred beliefs: there is no path through water to the happy hunting ground! Speak!
(TIGER LILY rolls her eyes at HOOK.)

Now, Peter!

(an impersonation of Captain Hook)
Odds, bobs, hammer and tongs. Oh, what a rogue and peasant Hook am I!
(SMEE and HOOK scream!)

Who are you, stranger?

I am James Hook, Captain of the Jolly Roger!

(terrified)
But if you are Hook, then who am I?

A codfish!

SIDE 4

I wanna join!

Us too!

(like a cheerleader cheer)
Pi-rates forever! Lost Boys never!

(overlapping)
Boys! Boys

Pi-rates forever! Lost Boys never!

Skunk!

(stops his chant)
Sorry.

Aren t you all ashamed of yourselves?

Well, Captain Hook makes a very convincing case, Wendy.

We ll walk the plank if we don t become pirates!

No, Peter will save us.

Yeah!

No, he won t. Peter thinks only of himself.