Script

Side 1

JUNIE B.

Hello, people! It's time to watch me eat out of my new lunch box!

(Everyone but JUNIE B. goes to stand in the line to purchase lunch.)

Herb - Hey Herb! What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you coming to eat with me?

HERB

I'm buying my lunch today, Junie B.

SHIRLEY

Me too-


LUNCH STUDENT 1

Everyone is buying today, Junie B.

JUNIE B.

I was not actually expecting this development.

(JUNIE B. goes to a table and sits with SHELDON.)

SHELDON

We're the only ones who didn't buy hoagies today.

JUNIE B.

Yes, Sheldon, I know that.

SHELDON

Hoagies are very popular. But I'm not allowed to eat them. I'm allergic to fake meat and cheese.

JUNIE B.

Please wipe your nose.

SHELDON

I'm only allowed to eat food that comes from nature. Also I'm allergic to dairy.

Side 2

SHELDON

No one touch this please. Even though I came back to class today, I am still not totally right up here.

MR. SCARY

Oh, yes, Sheldon. I am very aware of that.

SHELDON

I probably shouldn't play in the kickball tournament on Friday either.

MR. SCARY

Don't worry. I'm sure we can come up with something else you can do in the tournament.

(JUNIE B. puts her head inside her sweater and slumps in her chair.)

You too, Junie B. We'll think of something else you can do too, okay?

LUCILLE

Who cares about kicking a stupid ball anyway? I'm going to be the head cheerleader!

(LUCILLE takes out pom-poms and fluffs her dress.)

MAY

Who wants to be a stupid old cheerleader? I'm going to do crowd control. 'Cause I already have a badge at home. So all I'll need is a big stick to poke people with!

(Everyone looks at her.)

And a gas mask.


MR. SCARY

I don't think crowd control will be necessary, May.

(MAY plops down in her seat, miffed.)

SHELDON

Well, I already know what I am going to do. I'm going to do a halftime show!

MR. SCARY

A halftime show?

SHELDON

Yes, yes!!! 'Cause my daddy used to play in his high school band! And he already taught me how to march and play the cymbals like a real professional band guy!