Script
Audition Central: Bugsy Malone JR.
Script: Blousey Brown
SIDE 1
BUGSY
Ouch, look where you re going will you. (BUGSY rubs his shin.)
BLOUSEY
I m sorry, I m truly sorry. Oh it s you, Dandruff.
BUGSY
Don t worry, I ve had a shampoo since we last spoke. That baseball bat could be classified as a dangerous weapon you know.
BLOUSEY
My mother made me pack it.
BUGSY
You re a sports nut?
BLOUSEY
It s for protection, in case I get robbed.
BUGSY
You re a singer, right?
BLOUSEY
That depends on your taste in music. I m here about a job.
BUGSY
Did you get the job?
BLOUSEY
They said, Come back tomorrow.
BUGSY
They always do. What s your name anyway?
BLOUSEY
Brown.
BUGSY
Sounds like a loaf of bread.
BLOUSEY
Blousey Brown.
BUGSY
Sounds like a stale loaf of bread.
BLOUSEY
Keep your jokes behind your teeth, Wisey.
BUGSY
Pleased to meet you. I m Bugsy Malone.
SIDE 2
BUGSY
Can I give you a lift?
BLOUSEY
You got a car?
BUGSY
Er, no.
BLOUSEY
Then how you gonna give me a lift, Buster? Put me in an elevator?
BUGSY
It s a nice night, we could walk. Which way you going?
BLOUSEY
Which way you going?
BUGSY
This way.
(BUGSY points left.)
BLOUSEY
Then I m going this way.
(BLOUSEY moves off right.)
BUGSY
Let me carry your bag at least. Have you eaten?
BLOUSEY
Ever since I was a child.
BUGSY
Then how come you re so skinny, Smartie?
BLOUSEY
I watch my weight.
BUGSY
Yeah, I do that when I m broke too. You hungry?
BLOUSEY
No.
BUGSY
You re not hungry?
BLOUSEY
No, starving.
(As they walk, the scene transitions to a sidewalk café. A WAITER holds the chair out for BLOUSEY to sit down. The action is continuous, as is the dialogue. A surly WAITRESS comes up, chewing gum.)
BUGSY
Are you going back to the speakeasy tomorrow?
BLOUSEY
Er no, I m gonna try my luck at the Bijoux Theatre.
BUGSY
The Lena Marelli Show?
BLOUSEY
She s walked out. They re looking for a replacement.
BUGSY
Oh, she walks out every week and every week they have auditions and every week she walks back again... But don t let me put you off.
BLOUSEY
You won t. What do you do?