Script

SIDE 1

Stop the music! Stop the music!!!

(The music stops. The WILDCATS gather around FULTON. He screws on his "mean" mask, but it keeps slipping, revealing the real FULTON underneath.)

(sweetly)
Did you want to tell us something, Mr. Fulton?

(to himself)
I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

(to the WILDCATS)
Now, due to the capacity crowd expected at the Midsummer Night's Talent Show, all kitchen staff will have to work their regular shifts, which means there will be no staff participation in the talent show.

(rushing out)
That's all, things to do, ta ta

(The WILDCATS mutter disapproval.)

But Mr. Fulton, how can you do this?

(the sad facts of life)
Children, sometimes the innocent employee must carry out completely unfair tasks if he, meaning me, wishes to continue paying his bills so he can continue living his tiny life.

(FULTON sits, spent. The WILDCATS are speechless. Then:)

Mr. Fulton, may I make you a cup of tea?

It won't help. Chamomile is nice. With some lemon. And a little backbone.

Well, there goes my big dance break.

You know who's behind this, don't you?

Sharpay.

That does it!

SIDE 2

(SHARPAY looks back into the mirror, bursts into a fresh round of tears, and buries her face in her hands. JACK SCOTT steps back onstage.)

Yo, Ladies and Gentlemen, you are going to totally flip out over our next amazing act. Let's make some noise for Rosette Shimshank and her acrobatic Accordion!

(The audience applauds as ROSETTE bounces on stage with her accordion. FULTON knocks on the door frame and pokes his head in on SHARPAY. SHARPAY lifts her head; her eyes are ringed in running mascara.)

Love the eyes. Very Alice Cooper.

I look like a depressed raccoon. Troy won't sing with me! I can't do it. I can't I can't I can't!

(controlling his temper)
Yes, well, we have a capacity crowd waiting to hear you "dazzle" them, so get moving, kid!

Tell them to go home  tell my father that I'm sick  just tell somebody something, or you're  you're fired!

(enough is enough!)
You, fire me? Young lady, you have finally gone too far! I have neither the patience nor the time to deal with your monstrously insecure, teenaged ego. Now get out there and sparkle! Capisce!?

Capisce.

Good. Break a leg!

SIDE 3

(The stage rotates 90 degrees, so that the "curtain" now runs parallel mid-stage, and the "audience" is now out in the house  i.e., we are now the audience for the talent show. With JACK SCOTT at his side, FULTON stalls for time, checking his watch, extemporizing ad nauseaum...)

... and you may have noticed, just beyond the new peacock petting zoo and Zen rock garden...

(Suddenly, KELSI appears just onstage and gestures to JACK SCOTT that she has to talk to him. Still thinking she's a traitor, JACK gestures back, "talk to the hand." KELSI pulls JACK to the side and whispers excitedly in his ear.)

... all the delightful improvements we've made this season in the elite spa and meditation center, where tranquility is the standard by which we

(elated)
No way!

Way!

For real?!?

Totally!

(covering, shooting the "death ray" at JACK and KELSI)
... ahem  where tranquility is the

(giving FULTON the thumbs up!)
Arooooga!

(snapping back, moving things along)
Well, folks, it would appear we are all ready for the last song. Is that correct, Miss Nielsen??

Ready when you are, sir.

(KELSI runs to the piano.)

Excellent. And now, Ladies and Gentlemen

(An elated JACK joins FULTON at the mic.)

(enthusiastic, to say the least!)
Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo

Uhm, oh yes, yo yo. Yo! And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the five-time Star Dazzle Award-winner Sharpay Evans singing with... well, at this point, your guess is as good as mine.

(taking the mic)
And they're singing a brand new version of a future number one hit by red-hot composer babe Kelsi Nielsen: "Every Day"!

(FULTON and JACK SCOTT high-five, albeit awkwardly, and step aside. TROY and SHARPAY take the stage, followed by the SHARPETTES. KELSI cues the Band.)