Script

GYM TEACHER SIDE

Well, well, well, Tracy Tugboat, you finally found a title you could win: Miss Detention!
 

Knock it off, Amber.
 

Amber Von Tussle, you have acne of the soul.

(#17  SCATTER DODGEBALL begins.)
 

Students... Commence!

(And with a shrill whistle the game begins. Everything moves in slow motion. AMBER gets the ball and throws it at TRACY.)
 

Eat dodgeball, Tracy!

(AMBER viciously snaps the ball right into TRACY s head. TRACY crumples to the ground, knocked out. A whistle blows. Back to regular time.)
 

Game over.
(The school bell rings.)
Class dismissed!

(The GIRLS and GYM TEACHER exit.)
 

Poor Tracy. So tragic, I forgot to cry. Are you coming, Link?
 

Amber, that wasn t necessary.

I said, are you coming, Link?
 

In a minute.
 

I ll be waiting.
 

MATRON SIDE

MATRON

OK, Ladies, welcome to the big dollhouse! For those of youse new to the penal system I'm letting you know now that I don't stand for no cussing, gambling, fighting or any other sort of unladylike behavior.
 

PRINCIPAL SIDE

(PRINCIPAL and TRACY are isolated in a spotlight.

PRINCIPAL

Tracy Turnblad, once again your monumental hair-don't has seriously obstructed everyone's view of the blackboard. As Principal of Patterson Park High I condemn you, to three more days of detention!
 

GILBERT SIDE

Not bad for a white girl.
 

Ain t no black and white up in here. Detention is a rainbow experience.

(SEAWEED does another step.)
 

What s that step?
 

 Peyton Place After Midnight.

(TRACY jumps in with SEAWEED.)

Fearless, girl. You really got it going on.

(TRACY suddenly freezes with recognition.)
 

I just realized who you are. You dance on Negro Day.
 

Of course he does. His mom hosts the show.
 

Your mom is Motormouth Maybelle, the DJ? That makes you like royalty! Corny Collins is hosting the sophomore hop tomorrow night. If he saw me dancing like this with you, maybe he d put me on his show.
 

If you two danced together in public, the only show you ll get on is the eleven o clock news.
 

GUARD SIDE

(A GUARD enters with a clipboard.)

Von Tussle, Velma? Von Tussle, Amber?

That s us.

Ladies, you re free to go with the sincere apologies of the state of Maryland and the personal compliments of the Governor himself.

NEWSCASTER SIDE

NEWSCASTER (V.O.)

...Elsewhere in local news, teenage TV personality and rabble rouser, Tracy Turnblad, has escaped from the Baltimore Women s House of Detention. If sighted, citizens are asked to notify police or, if phone service is not available, simply shoot to kill. In entertainment news, Eva Marie is no saint...