Script

SIDE 1

(placing mail in the mailbox)
Good morning, family Lambchop! Beautiful day today!

Sure is, Mrs. Cartero. Sure is. Is that our mail?

Yep! United States Postal Service, at your service. Oh, and Stanley, there's a postcard for you.

Thanks, Mrs. Cartero.

You feelin' OK, Stanley? Something seems a little different about you...

I feel OK, Mrs. Cartero.

You sure seem different... I can't quite put my finger on it... You gotta haircut! Right? That's it. Lookin' sharp, Stanley. Sharp. See ya' around!

See ya!

SIDE 2

(MRS. CARTERO enters delivering the mail.)

Dang! This mail pouch is heavy today.

Hey, Mrs. Cartero.

What? Who said that? Who said that?

Me. Stanley Lambchop. Up here, in the tree.

Stanley Lambchop, are you a monkey?

No, Mrs. Cartero, I'm not a monkey.

Then get down from that tree.

OK, Mrs. Cartero.

That child scared the living spirit outta me. Calling at me from the top of a tree...

(STANLEY is standing before her.)

Why aren't you in school?

I was waiting for the bus, then the cool kids turned me into a kite, flew me into a tree and, well, here I am.

So, what are you gonna do now?

I don't know. I'd like to go visit my friend Samantha.

So why don't you?

She lives in Los Angeles.

That's pretty far away.

Yeah. Dad said it'd be funny if I just sent myself in the mail

Hold the phone, Stanley. That's a great idea!

What is?

Look at you, Stanley! You're postal perfect! Why you could go anywhere in the world for just the price of a stamp!

I could?

Why not! Think of the places you could visit!