Audition Central: The Phantom Tollbooth JR.

Script: Mathemagician

SIDE 1

(Music: THE MATHEMAGICIAN S ENTRANCE. The MATHEMAGICIAN enters majestically. The MINERS clear a path for him. He is dressed as he was when we last saw him and carries the same staff, an oversized #2 yellow pencil. The MATHEMAGICIAN punctuates his speeches by pounding it on the floor.)
MATHEMAGICIAN
(bellowing as he enters)
Well, of course, it does! By the one hundred and seventeen thousand four hundred and fifty-eight hairs on my head,

(He gestures, taking in the whole mine.)
this mine is mine and it s all mine!

MILO
You must be the Mathemagician!

MATHEMAGICIAN
But who are you? And what brings you here?

MILO
My name is Milo, your Majesty.

TOCK
And I m Tock.

MILO
We ve come from Dictionopolis to see you, sir.

MATHEMAGICIAN
Azaz! So you ve met that obnoxious brother of mine, have you? I ll wager he s filled your heads with wordy nonsense! Well, I ve got his number! Let me set you straight: Dictionopolis doesn t add up! Words can mean anything, depending on your mood or your tone of voice! But numbers are always exactly what they re supposed to be!

(Realizing that he has been lecturing his  guests, the MATHEMAGICIAN softens and says:)

But how inconsiderate of me! After your long journey here, you must be famished.

(The MATHEMAGICIAN turns towards the MINERS and claps his hands.)

Lunch for two!

(Some MINERS immediately hurry offstage.)

(to MILO and TOCK)
How very thoughtless of me.

MILO
Thank you, your Majesty. I am hungry.

SIDE 2

MILO
(even more dramatically)
And whatever Azaz disagrees with, you agree to.

MATHEMAGICIAN
(even more smug)
Also correct.

MILO
(nailing his adversary with unshakable authority)
Then each of you agrees that he will disagree with whatever the other agrees to. So if both of you disagree with the same things, aren t you agreeing to something?

MATHEMAGICIAN
I ve been tricked! Arghh!
(ponders a moment, angrily)
He agrees  I disagree! I agree  he disagrees! We agree to disagree!

(Gradually, he calms down, accepting MILO S logic.)

No getting around that... Well, then, go if you must. And good luck to you. You ll need it. I do have one means of helping you, though.

(The MATHEMAGICIAN takes a small, gleaming #2 pencil from his pocket, a miniature replica of his own staff. We hear [Sound effect: MAGIC SOUND #2] the same sound we heard when AZAZ gave MILO the dictionary.) MAThEMAGiciAN Here is your own magic staff. Use it well and there is no problem you cannot solve. (The MATHEMAGICIAN places the pencil in MILO S breast pocket.)

MILO
(in the same dismissive tone as when he was given the dictionary)
Thank you so much.