Audition Central: Thoroughly Modern Millie JR.

Script: Trevor Graydon the Third

SIDE 1

(Millie hangs up the phone. Then to MR. GRAYDON and MISS DOROTHY, oblivious to their attraction to one another.)

MILLIE

Did you two meet?

(MISS DOROTHY and MR. GRAYDON shake their heads "no.")

Mr. Graydon, this is my friend, Miss Dorothy Brown, from the Priscilla Hotel. We're spending my lunch hour at the Mad Cap Beauty Spot. Miss Dorothy's going to have her hair smartly bobbed.

MR. GRAYDON

(as if he's been stabbed)
Bobbed?! With your beauty?

MILLIE

Miss Dorothy's an actress, and I thought with the way the theater is today, so rotten

MR. GRAYDON

Miss Dorothy, I'm going to take you to dinner and try to dissuade you from robbing mankind of those adorable curls. May I take the liberty of asking you to dine?

MISS DOROTHY

Perfect. Millie, I think I'll keep my curls, at least until tonight. Instead, I'm going to find a suitable frock for this evening. Till tonight, Mr. Graydon.

MR. GRAYDON

Trevor!

MISS DOROTHY

Trevor!

(MISS DOROTHY exits. MILLIE sits at her desk.)

MR. GRAYDON

That Miss Dorothy! Great Scott, that Miss Dorothy! Pretty as a peach and skin to beat the band. Perfect little pippin.

MILLIE

(fighting tears)
Perfect.

MR. GRAYDON

What a dandy little bundle for a fellow to cuddle.

MILLIE

Dandy.

MR. GRAYDON

(man-to-man)
Say, imagine all that sweet softness in your arms&

(regaining his professional composure) 
Yes, well, make dinner reservations at the Plaza. The Candlenook Room. Quiet corner table for two. I think Miss Dorothy's for the Plaza, don't you?

(when MILLIE dejectedly nods "yes") 

And John? Flowers.

MILLIE

There's a florist around the corner from the hotel. I'll order from them.

MR. GRAYDON

That's using the old bean! Roses. Two dozen.

MILLIE

(a knife in her heart as she scribbles on her pad) 
Two dozen.

MR. GRAYDON

Long-stemmed.

MILLIE

(he's turning the knife in her heart) 
Long-stemmed.

MR. GRAYDON

Plump.

(MR. GRAYDON exits.)

SIDE 2

MILLIE

What's happened to you? You're supposed to be at the Candlenook room with Miss Dorothy?
 

MR. GRAYDON

She stood me up.
 

MILLIE

How very strange.

(JIMMY enters and spots MILLIE.)
 

JIMMY

There you are!
 

MILLIE

Jimmy, you've got to hear this.

(to MR. GRAYDON)
Go on, Mr. Graydon.
 

MR. GRAYDON

(still very upset)
I went to the Hotel Priscilla to call on Miss Dorothy, and the lady at the front desk

MILLIE

Mrs. Meers.

MR. GRAYDON

 said that she had checked out. No note, no forwarding address...

JIMMY

Something's very wrong.

MR. GRAYDON

(instantly very serious and no longer tearful)
You suspect foul play, son?

JIMMY

She wouldn't check out without telling anyone.

MILLIE

Ethel Peas did. And another girl when I first moved in. Both of them were here one day and gone the next, without a word to anyone, except Mrs. Meers.

(In a flash, a perfect imitation of MRS. MEERS.)
"Sad to be all alone in the world."

(chord)

MR. GRAYDON

How's that?

MILLIE

Mrs. Meers is always saying that.

(chord)

JIMMY

You don't think ?!

(chord)

MILLIE

I do.

JIMMY

You don't mean ?!

(chord)

MR. GRAYDON

White slavery!

(MILLIE and JIMMY gasp.)

Cruel, but true. If a girl is all alone in the world and she checks out, who's to question her fate?

JIMMY

I'm calling the police!

MR. GRAYDON

(stopping JIMMY)
Steady, boy. Anything that might arouse Mrs. Meers's suspicion could mean an end to Miss Dorothy.

MILLIE

You're right. What we need is a temporary orphan, someone who's willing to put herself in harm's way. I'd do it myself, but she knows me.

JIMMY

And Graydon, I don't think either of us would pass as a new girl in town.

(MILLIE gets an idea.)

MILLIE

But I know someone who would!

(MILLIE and MR. GRAYDON look at each other.)

MILLIE, MR. GRAYDON

(as if at the office) 
Flannery!

(JIMMY, MILLIE and MR. GRAYDON exit.)