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Script
Audition Central: Annie JR.
Script: Lily
SIDE 1
ROOSTER
Hi ya, Sis. Long time no see.
MISS HANNIGAN
Rooster? They finally let you outta prison? What were you in for this time?
ROOSTER
Some old geezer said I swindled him outta eleven hundred bucks.
MISS HANNIGAN
Why'd he say that?
LILY
(ENTERING)
Because the Rooster swindled him outta eleven hundred bucks.
ROOSTER
Sis, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine from...
LILY
Jersey City!
MISS HANNIGAN
Rooster, do me a favor. Get outta here.
ROOSTER
So who was the blondie I bumped into when I come in? Looked like she had a couple of dollars.
MISS HANNIGAN
She works for Oliver Warbucks.
LILY
The Oliver Warbucks?
MISS HANNIGAN
Annie, one of the orphans from here, is gettin' adopted by him.
LILY
Crummy orphan!
ROOSTER
Yeah, livin' in the lap of luxury while the two Hannigan kids ended up on the skids!
SIDE 2
MISS HANNIGAN
A fifty-thousand-dollar reward. Fifty thousand! What I couldn't do with fifty thousand dollars.
(ROOSTER and LILY, in disguise as RALPH and SHIRLEY MUDGE, ENTER the orphanage hallway)
ROOSTER
(Humbly, as RALPH MUDGE)
Excuse me, ma'am, are you the lady that runs this here Orphanage?
MISS HANNIGAN
Yeah, whatta ya want?
LILY
(As SHIRLEY MUDGE)
Ma'am, was you workin' here eleven years ago?
MISS HANNIGAN
Yeah.
ROOSTER
Well, we had a terrible troubles back then and had to leave a baby here. On the front stoop.
LILY
Our little girl. Our Annie.
MISS HANNIGAN
You're Annie's parents? I can't believe it. Where'd you say you come from again?
ROOSTER
A little farm up in Canada where they've got lots of chickens and ducks and geese and roosters.
(HE crows and removes his glasses and hat and LILY pulls off her hat to reveal, in part, their disguise devices. ROOSTER and LILY, laughing and enjoying the success of their disguises, follow MISS HANNIGAN into her office)
Gotcha, Sis!
MISS HANNIGAN
Rooster! I never woulda knowed it was you in a hundred years.
ROOSTER
Fooled ya, Aggie. And we're gonna fool Warbucks, too.
(Sits in chair STAGE LEFT of desk)
LILY
Get ourselves fifty thousand big ones.
ROOSTER
We need your help, Sis, for details about Annie that can help us pull this thing off.
MISS HANNIGAN
What's in it for me?
ROOSTER
Three-way split.
MISS HANNIGAN
Half.
LILY
Half?
MISS HANNIGAN
Half.
ROOSTER
OK. Twenty-five grand each. But we gotta do it fast. Get the money, get the kid and get outta town.
MISS HANNIGAN
The kid's the problem. What would we do with her afterward?
ROOSTER
No problem.
(Flips open a long switchblade knife)
When I want something to disappear, it disappears.
(With sleight-of-hand, makes the knife disappear)
For good. We get the fifty grand, we blow this crumby town, and then Lil and me'll meetcha...
MISS HANNIGAN
Where?... Oh, yeah.