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Script
Audition Central: Elf The Musical JR.
Script: Elves
SIDE 1
CHARLIE
How you doing, Buddy?
BUDDY
Um, fine Charlie, but... I guess I m gonna be a little short on today s quota.
CHARLIE
That s all right, Buddy. Just tell me, how many Etch A Sketches® did you get finished?
BUDDY
I made, uh, eighty-five!
CHARLIE
Eighty-five? It s ten a.m. and you ve only made eighty-five?
BUDDY
Why don t you just say it? I m the worst toy maker in the whole wide world. I m a Cotton-Headed-Ninny-Muggins.
CHARLIE
You re not a Cotton-Headed-Ninny-Muggins. You have lots of talents, uh, special talents in fact, like, uh...
ELF #1
You re the best basketball player in the whole North Pole!
ELF #2
Even better than Santa!
ELF #3
And you re the only baritone in the Jinglesingers!
ELF #4
You bring us down a whole octave.
ELF #5
In a good way!
CHARLIE
See, Buddy? Hey, these elves are getting pretty thirsty. Would you mind doing a round with the cocoa cart?
BUDDY
Yay! Cocoa cart! Cocoa cart!
(BUDDY leaves. CHARLIE motions to SHAWANDA to join him.)
CHARLIE
Hey, Shawanda.
SHAWANDA
Yeah, Charlie?
CHARLIE
I hate to do this to you, but do you think you could pick up the slack with those Etch A Sketches®?
(BUDDY returns. He listens, unnoticed.)
SHAWANDA
No problem.
CHARLIE
I appreciate it. I feel bad for the big guy. I just hope he doesn t get wise.
SHAWANDA
Well, if he hasn t figured out by now that he s a human I don t think he ever will.
BUDDY
Human?!? I m human?
(Beat.)
CHARLIE
(desperately whispering to ELF #1)
Get Santa!
(ELF #1 runs off to get SANTA.)
BUDDY
You said I m human!
CHARLIE
No. No.
SHAWANDA
No, not you Buddy. We we re talking about some other Buddy. Some Buddy... else.
BUDDY
No you weren t!